you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Also, my phone autocorrects ENABLER to all caps. I think I drunk text the word too often.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
I just had to break into my old house and steal my sex tape. Good times. How have you been?
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
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