I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
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