I asked what she wanted from Hawaii. She said a baby like Aaden from JK 8.
where am I supposed to find one of those?
yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
Can you send me a picture of your dog? I might need to borrow him so I can wear a speedo to a pool party on Friday
Randomize
