I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Naw, the sex dungeon had to come down so we could build a nursery. Cause and effect really.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
No like he has curves. I remember thinking he had a nicer body than me
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
Randomize
