I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
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Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
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Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
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