Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
He blended the pizza with water and drank the whole thing. He is my hangover hero
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
She came home, put on the news, left a 20 minute drunk message on her friends machine, then proceeded to play back the entire message laughing hysterically and then just passed out
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Randomize
