his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
There's a cop, a pizza guy and a half naked girl outside along with a dog that I don't know. It feels like I walked into a Judd Apatow movie.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
ok first of all what the fuck
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Is constant horniness a medical condition? Because a husband, a boyfriend and an office side piece should be enough penis for one girl - but they’re not :-(
Randomize
