Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
Randomize
