i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
There was a gorilla playing an accordion outside of my last final. I miss college already.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
You were so high that you only FaceTimed me so that you could stare into your own eyes and not actually say anything
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize
