A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I said geronimo as I came I'm not sure if he appreciated the doctor who reference or was just confused
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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