There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
