similar to the time we made up the game of screaming at the top of our lungs any time a guy any of us slept with walked into the party. that went over SO well.
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
we did anal to Party In The USA and he busted to Firefies .. felt like we were fucking in a middle school dance
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
you know you're a senior when your friends are at the bar before you even get out of class
why the fuck would you go to class? it's karaoke wednesday.
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Come on there are only so many drink coaster sizes nipples in the world
My wife managed to convince me to not drink everclear by threatening to ban me from her vagina
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
If you don't turn up on horseback dressed like a highwayman I am not having sex with you today
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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