I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
You should not be allowed to go away on the weekends I plan on getting drunk on. I need someone to stop me from punching this guy in the face. It's simple room mate etiquette.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
I’m at that point in my trip where I’m kinda hot, kinda cold and I have to remember to breathe.
Randomize
