hell yes lets make some ravioli
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
You'd be surprised at how many crooked penises are out there
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I will be there. invited or not. I go where the pancakes go.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
What part of I just want to watch porn, eat Taco Bell, and masturbate did you not understand?
Randomize
