she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
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