Got a toothbrush?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Randomize
