your drunk exhusband is tryin to get with my drunk exgirlfriend. i think its funny. if you still talk to him dont say anything.
we're not divorced.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
Ran out of deodorant. Febreze on a paper towel? Kicking college's ass.
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
I just want a guy who makes lots of money, has a skilled penis and the sex drive of a 22 year on Viagra. Is that too much to ask?
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