Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
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I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
You're asking the wrong person. I was drunk on nyquil and jager.
Let's just do a victory lap through all of our exes.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
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Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
I refuse to shit my pants for anyone except Cher and Christina Aguilera!
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