Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
