Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
I just accidently tagged myself in the picture of the 16 year olds spreading their legs in bikinis. Failure.
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
I got drunk and slept with the guy who looks like Jesus.
Typical.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
EXCEPT MY COUSIN SAW MY SEX TAPE!
Let's celebrate our freedom by getting high and doing stupid shit.
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Have you heard yourself have sex?
I'm not THAT loud...
My neighbors filed a noise complaint.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
He was someone so memorable that I'd completely forgotten he'd existed up to and during the encounter
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