I walked up to her and said hello and wanted to ask her if she had fun last night... she asked me if we had met before.
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
