Dual, econ, hell, shiv, aunt, puppy. 1 out of 6. T9 word needs to learn how to cuss like me.
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
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Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
were facing impending death from north korea and were sitting here snorting tylenol to get high.....where did our lives go wrong?
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
This guy on tinder just told me that he wanted to tie me up and asked me what I thought. I told him I wanted tacos
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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