How many nights a week you wake up with sticky boxers cause you were dreaming of Clay Aiken? Your wife mad?
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
There was a lot of him and a little penis
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
