would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Better than last year. I didn't wake up to an after thanksgiving human shit on my living room floor. I think it's a sign I'm growing up at almost 30.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Just thought of the perfect gift for mom.... how about not telling her about my fourth open intoxicant ticket I got last night?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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