I like it. Barfy the gin-flavoured Assman
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
The kids I taught this morning even knew i was drunk. One of them even said, and I quote, "You smell like my dad after he goes bowling."
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I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
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I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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