My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well on the bright side, I only need a sophomore to complete the fuck-a-guy-from-every-year-challenge.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Everyone is drunk but me. Fantastic. Everyone is hooking up but me. Awkward.
I had a pitcher of margaritas. Now I'm in a laundry room being a 5th wheel and crying. I made myself a bed out of a pool floatie. I win.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Listening to Ke$ha's new single to pump myself up for my STD test.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
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