I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
The fact that I pulled something plastic out of my mouth after taking that shot is starting to concern me.
We just took turns doing keg stands. 27 is way too old for this. Out of 5 of us, our best time was 9 seconds.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
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