I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
When I finally got there you were bleeding all over and you just kept saying over and over that the dog was your only friend at the party.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
