You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
CALL ME OLD FASHIONED BUT PEE IS FOR TOILETS
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
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