What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
this dieting is killing me...just started drooling watching a dog food commercial
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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