Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
I bought us both waterproof cases so we can sext through FaceTime in the shower.
Next. Level. Shit.
third nipple confirmed
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
