you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
She said she was an education major and you replied with "oh I'm taking a semester off too". And we never saw her again...
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
I'm going to leave the fate of whether I go to my midterms up to my dealer hitting me up or not
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
i'm growling thTa how much i wNn slwwwp.
save me some of whatever you're doing i'll be there in five.
Randomize
