just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
There is nothing scarier than watching yourself breathe in the mirror while on shrooms.
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
