That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
Sorry about sucking tonight. Drunk truck fucking is apparently not my strong point.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's called hot rabbit the party if he asks the password is "careful" don't ask
I feel like emojis are just meant for explaining sex without using words to make anyone uncomfortable. It's a true gift
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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