pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
I can't believe that 100lb chick tackled me through a flight of stairs
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
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