Ambien. No doubt about it.
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Sundays were made for eating Ramen pantless in bed.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
