This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
I hate the Packers so much, I wouldn't cheer for them if they were playing al Qaeda.
Well, she opened the door to puke outside the car, but she threw it open so hard it popped back and hit her in the face.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
Why is there soup literally in every orifice of my body?
I just found out who gave her jelly shots. You owe me a new mattress.
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
Randomize
