ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
There is a man on the balcony beside me who claims he is a triceratops. He roared and asked me for a cigarette, telling me he'd eat me if I refused. I love college.
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
ahh summer, the season during which the prefix for every verb is "get drunk and"
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were trying to swim on the floor while eating a hot-dog bun and laughing about how much you hate bread and didn't understand why you were eating it..
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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