Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
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