I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Randomize
