so on my way home this naked dude runs right in front me his weiner at half mast screaming i'm only doing this cause its a 50 dollar dare
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
Adams eating in the shower, he says it's one of his favorite places to eat. Btw it's milanos he's eating, he says he loves italy too.
I have now slept with people from more countries than Ive actually visited. Can we make this a game somehow? Like foreign fuck buddy bingo?
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Randomize
