I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
Just considered the plausability of using my detachable showerhead as a beer bong. Has my life really devolved to this?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
Either I got the clap, or I masturbated with soap while I was sleeping.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Only Tommy would bring a stripper pole to a bonfire
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I've been back for one day and I've already given two bjs. Improvement from last year.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
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