Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Y'know, without the cops, it would've just been us daydrinking,
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
i take my contacts out every time we fuck so i cant see all the stretch marks
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
I accidentally mass texted his dick pic. Not only to my friends, but to my dad as well...
AND I NEED A VIKING FUNERAL OR MY GHOST ASS WILL SAUNTER ON OVER AND CASTRATE HIM FOR TECHNICALLY MURDERING ME
When you start lapping your martini like a cat it's time to go home. Partys over.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
You ever stub your boner? It happened to me. Just know that drugs and strip poker and a hot tub. I'll Regale you with the story over drinks later.
Randomize
