i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
