Don't bone anyone, just think of ur vibrator lol
HHaaaaaaaaa mmmmn vibrator
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You have to sext the same way you right a resume, you can only use active verbs
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
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