when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
the best part was at the strip club when he said he was "here to pick up my wife. she's up on stage.....wait that's my aunt". only in Ottawa.
Someone snapchat me a pic of you topless laying on the bar with Scotty pouring a bottle of tequila down your throat. IT'S NOT EVEN ELEVEN YET.
School starts next week
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
