OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
WHY did you say no to the sex seance?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
HOW DO YOU FORGET TO FINISH WINE
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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