No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
Dicks are not precious.
Also I will be receiving my own bra in the mail because I left it at his place, woops
i need something from you. video yourself doing naked jumping jacks and send it to me. it will make me smile
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
