Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
I miss the days of selfishly blowing a load in the condom without her knowing and acting all like "we shouldn't do this" so she would get dressed and leave.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
He called my vagina his wife... how is that NOT creepy?!
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