i think blowjobs on the first date are perfectly acceptable. as long as you dont go dick to mouth.
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
: am i supposed to send the mass text 'merry christmas!' to my booty calls too?
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I feel like it'll be a success as long as she doesn't end up dead in a ditch. There has to be a line somewhere.
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
Randomize
