I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
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You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
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I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
Okay, the good news, found Jared, all IDs accounted for, Jack is meeting us at yours with your requested the delivery. The bad news: Lost Alice, banned from Stages, possibly fucked my TA in the bathroom.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
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