i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
he has 3 profile pictures up and all of them are him riding jet skis
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Playing the biology drinking game in my 8am. Drink everytime he says species or organism. I love st. Patricks day
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I needed to pee, so I climbed out his window
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