Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
Just realized my talking to the tv hockey voice is same as my sex voice. Life just got a whole lot weirder.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
We should get drunk in walmart
when?
20 minutes ago
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