I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
accomplished twins. life is a go
just woke up with a thong on my face, dont remember going home with anyone and its way too big for it to be a good thing
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
When you text me tomorrow to remind me to mail your parking pass, also remind me to make sure i did NOT pack my vibrator for this family vacation
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize