perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
my dentist asked me why my tooth was chipped, i told him i couldn't remember. i think he understands.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
