piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
His daughter is our waitress. I left her a ten dollar 'I'm sorry I'm a whore and fucked your dad' tip...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
