I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
that's probably because you left your arm in the fishtank for 90% of the night
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
My roommate definitely just walked in on me playing the piano naked.
By piano you mean.....
Like literally a piano.
Ohhhh that's kind of embarrassing.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
I found her in my pantry with her shirt off twerking...I tapped her on the shoulder and she said she was giving Chef Boyardee a show and to give her a minute...
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Randomize
