It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
You dropped me off at the wrong girl's house.
There's no such thing as a "wrong girl" make it happen.
alright see you in the morning.
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
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Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
dying me prepared for dead me... i woke up with my laptop open to the last snl episode, a bottle of gatorade, advil and a bag of chocolate all next to me
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
this is the fourth time i've taken my clothes off for money this year. is that normal for the average college sophomore?
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize