I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Well I shit myself on the way home from work today so there's that...
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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