I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
No, dude. Even Jesus hates Creed.
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You just got cockblocked by Conan O'Brien.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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