Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
My brother just put in eyedrops to talk to my mom on the phone
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
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