when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
You NEED to get fingered by a violinist. He used his left hand and make me cum, he's RIGHT handed.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
It was a fight. Me vs nature and drunkenness. And nature won. Big time.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
