i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
Hey beautiful no judgement but why is there a bucket of KFC chicken in the bathtub??
Randomize
