at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
When she was dating that guy she told me If they broke up, I would receive a call and no matter what I was doing I'd have to go over a fuck her. It's like being an EMT for sex.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
We found you facedown on his couch in a pile of cheerios, with only one shoe on. Dude you said you were staying in last night.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Randomize
