My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
the sex wasnt even worth changing my sheets
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So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
you're usually drunk when you offer. there's one time you called me, told me not to dye my hair red, and asked if i wanted to see your tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
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